Guess who doesn’t give a crap about Oprah Winfrey…

by goatlove

I also don’t give a crap about college reunions, which is where I was last night.  I spent 90% of the evening avoiding eye contact with all the people I desperately wanted attention from 5 years ago.  The rest of the time I spent getting drunk-face.

I’m glad I went though.  It was so good to see a few of the people from college whom I still love and adore.  Being in their presence just feels like “ol’ times” and those times are always filled with enough laughter to warrant adult diapers.   Here I had started to think that I’d become un-funny in conversation and grown out of rolling around the floor in stitches.  I’m happy to report that’s just not so.

The best part of the night?  Seeing my college nemesis, a pretty thing who shares (stole!) my name and who I always envied for her boisterous, crowd pleasing  performance projects.

I’d heard she was going to be performing and imagined a grand, sexy burlesque encounter with audience jaws dripping and eyes popping joyously.  And me standing in the crowd enjoying every minute and internally hating myself for feeling like an artistic failure.  The kind of artist that starts everything and finishes nothing.

But what started as something intriguing with wet suits and slow motion dancing turned into a sub-bar music performance with too fancy equipment and (one good thing) a lot of bouncing in swim suit tops.  Great voices, ladies, but nothing that’s going to bend it like Beckham.

But did I say that was the best part of the evening?  The real best part was being able to reach out and touch 4 people who I can’t imagine my life without.  I wish the fifth had been able to make it too.

Wait?  Did I say that was the best part?  The real best part was watching an undergrad vomit all over the sidewalk out front of the college bar… and then her friend stepped in it.  Oh college!