Sometimes it´s hard… not gonna lie.

by goatlove

Ok,  so, how about I just write a book about this experience so that you will all know exactly what I´ve been up to… because I just can´t seem to keep up with myself on this blog.

Recently I reminded myself why I came here:  to learn a language, to learn about a culture, and to learn about war.  I am doing all of those things and it is exhausting.  I don´t know what I expected this experience to be like, but I never could have expected this.  My emotions run a crazy spectrum at an obscene pace.  At one time I will have such a fierce love for this place that I feel like exploding.  The next hour or the next day I will feel intense frustration that usually boils into hatred for the unfamiliar things around me.  I ride out those ugly times by writing.  Unfortunately, sometimes I write TO someone and then I fear that they worry too much about me.  If only they knew that in a matter of moments, or a handful of experiences later, I am at peace and incredibly o.k…

So I´m still struggling with how to make sense of all this for you.  It´s difficult.  Sometimes so difficult that I wonder how much it would cost to change my return flight and leave a.s.a.p.  But right now, I´m so happy to have two and a half more months here.  I love where I am right now at this minute… well not really, but that statement will be true once I leave this internet tienda!

Peace out, yáll!

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