And Away We Go…

by goatlove

So it’s happening.  I’m leaving.  In a matter of hours, no less.

I said goodbye to The Gooch yesterday.  I had a leisurely morning of cramming things in my car, throwing one last log on the fire, and writing outside to the tune of fall wind and falling leaves.

One last long glance at the rustic facade, a clumsy trip over roots, and I was on my way.

And then once I got to East Machias, twenty minutes away, I was heading back.  I hadn’t emptied the number 2 bucket.  And, yes, that’s for exactly what you think it’s for.  So I dumped my dump in the compost pile and then I was really on my way.

Ah The Gooch.  I’ll miss your protecting and watchful eye, John Wayne, keeper of the outhouse.

All jokes aside, I will miss The Gooch.  That place opened me up in a way that only isolation and silence could.  I learned to not be afraid of the dark, while I was there, and I mean that in the literal sense as well as a larger sense.

When I look at my life – the last 7 months, the last 2 years, the whole dang thing – it’s proof enough that I can take care of myself in the most unexpected conditions.

So maybe I’ve graduated to something like adulthood, if adulthood means facing challenges head-on.  But I was doing that as a kid.  So maybe I haven’t graduated to anything at all.

Maybe it’s just life and it’s never easy but sometimes you’re happy, so it doesn’t feel hard.  Or the hardness just helps you confirm your commitment to life, and a place.

I don’t know why I keep saying “you.”  I’m really talking about me.

So, Maine, I’ll see you next year.  I’m not leaving my guitar behind this time, but I’m leaving behind a few other things that are living and breathing and much more important to me.  Greater insurance that I’ll return.

Here I go.