Things you’ll need: A chain saw… DUH!

by goatlove

When you decide you’ve had enough of city life and finally buy that plot of land in the country you’ve been fantasizing about, you’ll most definitely want to invest in a chain saw.  If my family had owned a chain saw in the Chicago ‘burbs, well, I probably would have been gossiped about in the back of the school bus and had to sit by myself in the lunchroom.  But here in rural Maine, well, you’re just not hip if you don’t have a saw!

Chouan, the saw whisperer, looks on while I start up my saw.

You can use your saw for lots of things:

1.  Looking tough.

2.  Feeling empowered.

3.  Cutting stuff.

Like butter.

Looking tough is self-explanatory… I mean, HELLO, it’s a big, heavy hunk of metal and teeth.

Feeling empowered takes some explaining.  Empowerment comes from paying proper respect to the fact that you’re holding a potentially deadly piece of equipment.  Empowerment comes from learning and practicing every safety precaution and knowing everything there is to know about your saw and how to use it appropriately and safely AND better than your neighbor (but that’s just because I’m competitive).

Cutting stuff!  You can use your saw to cut up fallen trees, to clear land to make room for your dance party barn, and to cut wood for your wood stove (because if you live in the country and DO NOT have a wood stove, well you, my friend, are NOT living the dream).

A properly felled tree with a proper hinge... a la Chouan.

To summarize…
Step 1: Move to the country.
Step 2: Buy saw.
Step 3: Learn safety.
Step 4: Cut stuff.